Horney Christian: Why are you not dating?

 Last night I went out to the Hi Hat music industry soft opening and ran into a fella I havent seen since like four Coachellas ago. He gives me an exubriant hug, exclaims that he saw me across the room ’bout an hour ago but thought I still lived in New York. We catch up on things, talk about mutual friends, he lets me know he’s not dating the gal he was when we were in touch, that he dated a girl after her and is not dating anyone now. He’s also starting his own business blah blah blah insert adulting-speak here. Now its my turn to update him on the Tmay haps of the last four years (move back to LA, music, music, music, music, music, moved to Silverlake). 

He asks who im dating, I say no one. He asks why, I say “men don’t like me very much.” He tells me thats not true, like that CANNOT be true. Pause-
Now anyone who’s in my life on the day-to-day knows that no men, and i mean NONE are barking up the Tmay tree. What does this guy think? That im just turning down dates left and right? No, not at all, and it doesnt bother me. What bothers me is this guy’s utter non-belief that im not dating because I’m not being pursued. Un-pause-

He then asks did I date someone and did they totally fuck me over so that now Im not dating. Again I say no. I tell him Im happy, emotionally healthy but guys do not ask me out and Im a woman so im not gonna chase men. He’s still not satisfied but I dont care. Im three complimentary wines deep and the music is good, my friends are all around, its a good night. I then tell him the last boyfriend I had I was 27. He goes “how old are you now?” I’m already wound up for the pitch, “33”, I say with a huge grin. 

I love talking to people who demand answers and the ones I give do not satisfy. I RELISH in it.

He gets my Facebook, asks if im goin to Coachella this year, turns out we’re both goin Weekend 1. In hindsight I guess it feels GOOD to know that a marginally attractive straight man couldnt BELIEVE im single and for such a long time. The strangest take-away was I’m okay with it, why wasn’t he?

Til next time….

TM

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